Couples Retreat
Posted by swannernjudd on October 15, 2009
Swanner: On Tuesday night Brian and I got the chance to see the new Vince Vaughn/John Favreau movie, Couples Retreat. The storyline follows four couples, in various points of their marriage, that get talked into going on vacation to an island resort that’s for couples only. Once there, they find out they are being forced to do couples therapy even though they don’t think they need it.
Judd: Couples Retreat is a god awful movie that makes me glad I’m perpetually single. Not only does the movie make marriage and relationships look painfully horrible, the movie is written worse than a crappy romcom that takes one-note jokes and stretches them over what seems to be an infinity.
Swanner: To me it felt like Vince Vaughn said to his friends…”Lets make a movie in an amazing location so we can spend 6 weeks in Bora Bora”. They walked through the movie producing stereotypical couples that I couldn’t relate to and then ends it with a quick wrap up that was just awful. It was like watching a really long sitcom. I do think it might have been better if it was rated R. The audience for this movie is 18 and older so why make a movie for thirteen year olds?
Judd: I think you’re underestimating the stupidity of American audiences. The audience we saw the movie with loved the movie. They were laughing and having a good old time. There is a reason Everybody Loves Raymond was on the air for 9 years, and that is the same target audience that Couples Retreat plays to. They enjoy simple-minded, shallow characters they can point at and say, “I dun that b’fore!”
Swanner: It’s true, the audience was having fun with it but it was cheap laughs. No one will walk away feeling entertained. This is a great “immediate gratification” film. Like when you eat a whole bag of BBQ potato chips in one sitting and then, when someone asks where the chips are, you feel guilty, but since you already threw the bag in the trash can in the side yard…no one knows it was you. You just live with the shame and you never tell your dirty little secret…of how you saw this crappy movie.
Judd: My god you’re fat. Regardless of how fat you are, I disagree with you. I think the dumb audiences are going to call the movie a romp and a righteous good time. This movie is for married couples what Wild Hogs was for fat, middle aged, wannabe bikers. I’m telling you, it’s a horrible film that is going to sell out. Who knows, now that the Best Pic category has been expanded to 10 nominees, Couples Retreat might get the popular vote.
Swanner: Sadly…I think you’re right. I’ll need to stop by the store for chips to eat away my disappointment in this movie. At least now I can blame Vince Vaughn for my being fat.
Judd: Speaking of Vince Vaughn and fat, there was not a scene throughout the entire movie that Vince wasn’t sweating through his clothes. He was even sweatier than Fazion Love!
Swanner: 1 ½ Stars
Judd: No Stars
